How Can Latinas Create Boundaries Even When They Feel Guilty
Latina Woman, black hair, medium skin, black shirt and jeans. Learning to create boundaries even when she feels guilty.
Setting healthy boundaries isn’t easy—especially if you’re a first-generation Latina balancing family traditions with your own dreams. If you’ve ever felt guilty for putting yourself first, you’re not alone. In this post, we’ll talk about why guilt is so common, the cultural values that shape how we feel about sacrifice, and how you can set boundaries with care and respect.
Why Do We Feel Guilty?
Guilt often pops up when you start to prioritize yourself or say “no” to family requests. Many Latina women grow up hearing that family “familismo” comes before everything else, so doing something for yourself might feel wrong or selfish. To read more about familismo click here. The outside world may tell you to chase your own goals, while your home life encourages sacrifice. No wonder it’s confusing! Remember, feeling guilty is normal—it’s just a sign that you’re navigating two different sets of expectations.
Cultural Stories Around Sacrifice
In Latino culture, sacrifice is seen as a beautiful and encourages as part of marianismo. Click here to learn more about marianismo. Our families are full of stories about parents and grandparents giving up their own dreams so the next generation could have more. These stories are inspiring, but they can also make it tough to focus on your own needs. Sometimes, you might feel like self-care means letting down the people you love—but taking care of yourself can actually a way to make sure you’re there for them, too.
How to Set Boundaries—Even when you feel Shame or Guilt
· Start Small: Try setting a gentle boundary in a low-stress situation. For example, “I need a quiet night tonight, but let’s catch up soon.”
· Be Honest and Kind: Use “I” statements to share your feelings, like “I get overwhelmed when I have too much on my plate, so I’m learning to say no sometimes.”
· Stay True to Your Values: Setting boundaries isn’t about rejecting your family—it’s about respecting yourself and your relationships.
· Expect Some Discomfort: Guilt might still show up. Instead of letting it stop you, see it as a signal that you’re growing and changing old habits.
· Find Support: Talk to friends, a therapist, or others who understand your background. Such as a support group can also be helpful. Sharing your experiences makes things easier.
